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Very low maintenance Linux distro?

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Firstly, hi all! I have looked in here very occasionally since I left my Scalc heavy job, and it's good to see things continuing to go well. I'm now leaving my "new" job, and heading back to live in Australia again. Which brings me to my question...My elderly parents would like to get online to stay in touch once I'm gone. Is there such a thing as a Linux distro that rarely needs updating for security? Or that keeps itself up to date requiring only dial-up bandwidth (at pay-as-you go prices, so no long connections)?It would only be for webmail and the odd bit of browsing. Probably OpenOffice too.If not, then what if they got broadband (not likely in the near future, but possible)? Is there a distro that completely automatically keeps itself up to date with security patches?
Obviously it would need to be fairly beginner friendly, but they have used Windows before, and they are not in the slightest interested in fiddling and tweaking, so I expect almost any GUI Linux would fit that criteria (or am I wrong?).I would be the one installing and setting up, so it would need to be fairly straight forward - I've never done Linux installs or config, but I have reluctantly managed a few Windows ones. I intend to set them up with dual boot, so that must be straight forward too. The Windows install would be for some very old software my dad runs on Win98. I'd stick ZoneAlarm on and forbid any internet access at all. Just in case they ever got mixed up.Ideally I would be able to send them a CD or DVD every few months, or better years, with any large updates.I hesitate to recommend Windows to them for internet use - for one reason because of the huge bandwidth Windows Update frequently requires, and two because I've found it a real hassle to keep secure even with the Windows Updates updates - ZoneAlarm does not auto update, and AVG only auto updates the virus definitions, not the binary.Thoughts? Is anything like this possible? Am I dreaming?

Please help

I didn't find the right solution from the internet.

https://forum.openoffice.org/en/ ... php?f=49&t=9455
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